


12. Take My Jacket, It's Cold Outside

by essiee, Guardian_Rose



Series: 100 Ways To Say I Love You [12]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Happy Ending, M/M, Protective!Magnus, argument
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-08-07 11:30:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7713319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/essiee/pseuds/essiee, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Guardian_Rose/pseuds/Guardian_Rose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus and Alec fight after a disastrous dinner date.</p>
            </blockquote>





	12. Take My Jacket, It's Cold Outside

Magnus shrunk back from Alec’s furious glare when he turned around from closing the loft’s door.

 

“What were you thinking, Magnus?” Alec questioned, voice icy and unfeeling. Silent anger like the violence of silently drowning.

 

Alec stood in his black jeans and dark blue top in front of the living room sofa; his arms crossed over his chest. His normally open face was closed off to the warlock, the walls he had been bringing down painstakingly slowly were up in defence and it tore at Magnus’s heart. 

 

A chill raced through him, he didn’t know whether it was from the wintery cold or from the turmoil of that evening.

 

It had started off wonderfully, Alec had come over from the Institute for the afternoon and an hour ago they had decided to go out for dinner to Taki’s. It had all gone downhill from there. Magnus had gone to answer a call from Tessa and left Alec to order for them both, they both knew what the other liked and disliked. It was something they loved to do, a sign of their trust in each other. A reassurance.

 

When he had returned Alec was sitting in the booth staring blankly at the empty seat opposite, hands clenched into fists under the table, while the waiter shouted at him. Everyone in there was staring at them and Magnus saw red.

 

The warlock brought himself up to his full height and walked over, not caring about the sparks of electric blue magic around his fists.

 

The next minute was a bit of a blur in his memory but he remembers there being shouting and possibly a punch being thrown.

 

The next clear thing he remembers is Alec standing in front of him, eyes stormy, the waiter on the ground behind Alec and the familiar thrum of his magic in an uproar. Swirling around Magnus and his shadowhunter with a buzz that was almost deafening.

 

He’d stamped it down immediately, not wanting to hurt Alec but the shadowhunter had simply pushed past him, not listening to Magnus’s apologies, and they had walked home. A chasm of silence between them.

 

Magnus snapped back to the present at Alec’s exasperated growl, Magnus refused to look guilty. 

 

“Alexander, I am sorry about making a scene but I will not apologise for defending you.” He said, his voice pleading with the shadowhunter but at the same time defiant.

 

“I don’t need defending! I can handle myself.” Alec snapped.

 

Magnus took a tentative step forward, he was getting angry now. He loathed being angry at Alec, it hurt him to fight the younger man. Each venomous sentence burning his throat.

 

“I know you can but you were sitting there letting that asshole scream at you! I wasn’t going to let that happen, I know how awful it is.” Magnus argued back.

 

“You know huh? You know how I walk through the Institute with every passing person whispering about me behind my back? You know how it feels to know that the parent you love so much and have spent your life trying to please has disowned you, yet you have to see her every day?” 

 

Alec was shouting now, tears threatening to fall down his pale cheeks. 

 

Magnus wanted to cry as well. 

 

“Alexan-” 

 

“No! No, Magnus. You don’t know. I take much worse than that every. Single. Day. At least he was outright with it rather than the cowardice of my own family. The people I have to rely on in battle except I can’t now. Because I chose you. I chose my own happiness for once in my life and, by the angel, it hurts.”

 

Alec stopped to breathe, tears running like rivers and Magnus could feel his own. His stomach swirling and his heart constricting. He hadn’t known it was this bad, he’d thought that it was a minority of the Institute; that his siblings and Clary were protecting him too. They probably were trying to but Alec...oh God, Alec probably hadn’t been letting them. It would be just like him.

 

Magus wanted to be sick at the thought of Alec being in so much pain, keeping this bottled up inside.

 

“It hurts, Magnus, because I...I lo-...I care for you so damned much and they can’t see it. They can’t see past their own ridiculous hatred of anyone different. Then you go and put yourself in danger.”

 

The warlock moves to speak but Alec ploughs on.

 

“Did you know that that waiter was a werewolf? That he’s one of Luke’s pack that doesn’t want to follow Luke because of his association to Clary and therefore us? That’s why he was yelling. He blames us for everything that’s happened because we brought Luke to you and you saved him. His group of friends was there and they were ready to tear you to pieces for what you did. You knocked the waiter out Magnus! I was fine, we should have been able to just leave and move on but you-you just had to-. I'm not asking you to apologise for defending me.”

 

Alec crumpled and sat heavily on the sofa behind him, hands dropping to his sides and his head drooping. His shoulders curved as if to protect himself from the memories.

 

Magnus stepped forwards until he was in front of the shadowhunter then he sank to his knees, desperately willing Alec to raise his head and meet his gaze. He didn’t dare touch. Alec needed to get this out.

 

“It hurts because I don’t want anyone to hurt you because of me. I don’t want anyone to hurt you at all. That’s why I’m mad. We are damned. We are stuck in an unbreakable circle. I want to protect you so I take the hits, the tiny papercuts sent my way everyday, but you want to protect me so you defend me and put yourself in danger and I don’t want that. Neither of us will stop anyway, I need you to be safe. It's what I've been trained to do, defend my family. My friends. You.” 

 

They sit in stunned silence for a few minutes before Magnus stands and moves away without a word, he finds a pen and summons a piece of paper. He scribbles on it furiously and doesn’t notice Alec moving until he’s at the door.

 

“Alexander…” Magnus turns to look at the shadowhunter, empty and worn out. 

 

He looks miserable and it’s like someone's drowning the warlock, his lungs twisting to stop him from breathing.

 

“I need to go.” Alec says simply but he looks guilty about it, like he’s betraying Magnus by needing some space.

 

“Will you-I just...wait a minute?” Magnus asks hopefully.

 

The shadowhunter shifts on his feet, deliberating before he nods. Magnus tries for a small smile.

 

The warlock turns back to his paper and finishes writing before folding it in half. He grabs the jacket he abandoned what feels like aeons ago and holds them both out to the taller man. Their eyes meeting. Green-gold searching the blue depths.

 

“Please? Take my jacket, it’s cold outside.” It’s not that chilly outside but it’s not warm enough to go without an extra layer and Alec didn’t bring a coat or jumper today.

 

They stand in silence then Alec takes the jacket and slips it on quickly, hesitating before he takes Magnus’s note.

 

“Thank you.” Alec whispers, he doesn’t sound angry anymore. Just dejected. 

 

“Alec, I’m not giving up on you. Please know that, this isn’t us giving up. I don’t want to lose you, not now. Not ever.” Magnus says quietly, his hand coming up to rest on the shadowhunter‘s elbow.

 

Alec nods and offers a small smile that Magnus returns gladly.

 

Magnus searches Alec’s eyes before pressing a soft kiss to the shadowhunter’s cheek. He’s relieved when Alec doesn’t flinch away.

 

The warlock stares at the door long after Alec turns and leaves. It takes him half an hour of lying in bed with his phone on the pillow next to him before it buzzes at him.

 

It’s Alec.

  
**_I know. Xxx_ **

**Author's Note:**

> Written by Guardian_Rose
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> My tumblr is SaphiraEldunari, send prompts that way or through the comments if you have any.
> 
> Any and all comments welcome <3


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